People often ask me,
"what is the story with those silly
little shoes that Santa's elves wear?".
My response is typically that the elves
find these shoes more comfortable then
wearing wooden clogs. The reason that
they are little, is because the elves
have little feet. I receive a polite
little chuckle on occasion, but
clearly my answers leave people
unsatisfied. Anyway, I thought it was
time to set the record straight. If I
answer the dilemma this one time,
possibly everyone will stop asking me
this tiresome question.
So, here is the
answer to why Santa Claus's elves wear
funny little shoes.
One early morning
nearly 340 years ago, Santa was sitting
quietly by his favorite fishing hole.
Yes, it was actually a "hole" not simply
a metaphor for a location in which Santa
likes to fish. The fact of the matter
is that in the North Pole, one
actually has to cut a hole in the ice in
order to reach the frigid water
beneath. This fine morning, Santa was
sitting on an ice block and dipping his
line up and down and up and down in the
water. Over and over the motion
continued. Lifting his line slowly,
then dropping it down to it's original
state. Up and down, up and down... As
usual, his cheeks were a lovely shade of
rose and chubby as can be expected. It
happened to be that this wind chilled
morning was actually only 37 days before
Christmas. Mr. Claus swiftly
approaching his proper weight. His
cheeks were nearly ripe and surely would
be ready for joyful giggles come
Christmas Eve. As he set patiently by
the water hole, as he often did, a seal
suddenly poke his nose up out of the
ice. Startled, Santa actually slipped
backwards off his seat of ice on which
he had been perched. Landing with a
thud, flat onto his back and with eyes
staring toward the heavens, he let out a
sort of chuckle. It was actually a mix
between a chuckle and a grimace.
Possibly, the fall to the ice removed a
bit of wind from Santa's sails. Shaking
his head to the left and to the right to
make sure that his head was still
properly situated, Santa let out a noise
that was most definitely a clear,
resounding, "chuckle". By gosh,
Sally... you scared the day lights out
of me. Lifting himself from the ground
in a what appeared to be a very
struggled sit-up, Santa rolled to one
knee and then popped to his feet.
Stepping closer to the fishing hole and
waving his finger from left to right, he
exclaimed to Sally the Seal, "you
certainly know better then to pop up so
quickly from my fishing hole; I must
have told you a thousand times". Sally
let out a yelp, yelp, yelp as she
rapidly moved her snout from down to up
in a repetitive motion. Santa smiled as
he picked up his pole from the snow
covered ice. He drew the line from the
water, unlatched the candy cane
from the end of his fishing line and
turned to head back toward town. Sally
the Seal, waddled close beside...
As Santa started
wandering back toward town, he looked
off to his right and down toward sally
and asked out load (as if Sally could
speak back), "I wonder if this will
actually work". Sally yelped as if
perplexed by Santa's question. He
caught the hint of confusion on Sally's
face and restated his thoughts. Well
Sally, as you know I go to that fishing
hole as often as free time allows. Time
after time, I dip candy canes up and
down in the water for hours on end. My
question is, "Do you think that if I
continue to dip the canes, the
sugar will absorb into the ocean and
help make the world a sweeter place?
After all that is why I do it... Well,
I guess it can't hurt to keep trying,
Santa exclaimed as he continued his trek
back to town. He thought to himself, "I
should find a closer water hole so I
would not have to walk so far in the
future..."
Turning the last bend
along the river, he was nearly back to
town. It was time for Sally the Seal to
wave Santa good bye. It was not that
she was not welcome in town, she simply
had a busy day scheduled and it was time
to get started on her chores. Yelp,
yelp, yelp... and a fond farewell to
you to Santa shouted back to Sally as
she began to purposefully slip and slide
across the ice covered river.
You are probably
asking yourself, what does any of this
have to do with, "why do elves wear
funny little shoes". Relax, we will get
to that part eventually... Plus, you
needed to know a little bit about
Sally...
Santa climbed one
final snow bank then dusted the snow
flakes from his knees and shoulders.
His work shop was in site. Actually, as
you are already aware, the complex
contains numerous work shops. The
one he was headed for was third on the
left and swiftly nearing. With a short
sigh followed
by a resounding chuckle, he swung
open the door.
Entering the warm well lit entry way, he
neatly hung his coat on the rainbow
colored candy cane coat rack. Punching
his time card (as everyone must), Santa
shuffled toward the center of the room.
Finding that he was completely "ALONE".
What's this exclaimed Santa... "No elves
at their work stations". According to
the candy calendar, we are merely 37
days away from Christmas. No elves at
their work stations, this simply can not
be. "Hello".. Hello.. "Is there anyone
hear" Santa stated in a slightly louder
voice. Then again a bit louder,
hello... And louder once again, "where
is everyone". Then from the back
corner, in a state of surprise to hear
Santa's voice, an elf appeared. Oh,
hello Santa the little elf stated. Good
morning Charles, Santa replied.
Followed quickly by, " where has
everyone gone. It
is nearly Christmas you know."
Charles began to
inform Santa of the situation. After
hearing the details, Santa walked over
to the elf dormitory. Inside, he saw
all the elves trying on "shoes". They
had boxes and boxes of footwear covering
the room from top to bottom. Stacked
high in nearly every corner of the
room. Even on top of fireplace mantel
you could see half laced Nice Air
Jordan's piercing up from their shoe
carton. They had boots, sneakers,
sandals, etc. You name the brand or
color, the elf's appeared to have them
all... "What's this?" Santa exclaimed
in his usual pleasant voice? The Elves
looked up at Santa, and then to their
watches. Then back to Santa, and
then up to the large clock that hangs
over the door way. Oh my, shouted the
elves, as they realized that they were
very late for arrival to the workshop.
Oh Santa, we are
terribly sorry for this delay. Last
week, Sally the Seal brought us a shoe
catalog that she found during her
travels. The selection was so enormous,
we simply could not decide which
shoes to wear. As we each
liked a different pair, we decided to
order them all... Now that they have
arrived, we could not resist taking
turns trying on each style. As you can
see, trying to make our shoe selection
has thrown us way off schedule. We feel
horribly that we risked delays to our
Christmas Present Production Schedule.
We vow to never allow this to happen
again. From this day forward, all elves
will agree to wear the same shoe style
day in and day out. We will never again
be delayed by having too many
"choices". As of this moment, we will
only wear the shoes that Mrs. Claus gave
to us for Christmas last year.
